Changes can be sc-sc-sc-scary and un-un-un-settling! We tend to feel comfortable with the known and therefore crave the known. Even if we don’t particularly like the known, at least we know what it is. Our minds work hard to make sense out of ourselves, our situations, or events in our lives. This seemingly logical framework brings a feeling of control which can lead us to feel more calm or peaceful.
Unfortunately, changes bring along the possibility of the unknown and can tip the logical framework out of balance. We may make up internal dialogues about what the unknown change will bring, and many times that internal dialogue veers towards a more negative or more positive version of the accuracy of what is to come. These internal stories are often our coping mechanism for creating sense out of the unknown and they can then bring us a sense of control or peace, even if the dialogue is negative.
But what if our internal framework of stories brings us anxiety about the impending change? Or what if that internal framework leads to excitement which deflates when the actual change occurs and cannot live up to the excitement? We may be better off ditching our internal stories and just living with the unknown.
So how can we learn to approach change with more ease or acceptance? There is a story of a wise old man who was approached multiple times with the question of, ” Isn’t this the best/worst thing to ever happen?” Each time the wise man heard this question, his reply was the same: “Maybe so, maybe not.” We often believe what our brain tells us. We believe that because we hear it inside, it must be true. But if we are able to stay open to the possibility that our brain tells us information based on internal messages and biases, then we are able to see that we cannot accurately fortune-tell what a change will bring. We begin to be able to relax into the unknown and into the changes which are coming. Is it really the best/worst/slightly better/slightly worse/completely neutral thing to ever happen?
Maybe so. Maybe not.